MARY

I know no one is toing to read this. It's been a year since I've updated this thing. I'm surprised that I even remembered my password.

I'm sitting here at work...just having a ball.

I'm sad
it's time to go home. it's 7:36...and I feel like it's been 7:36 for hours. I can't wait until nine o'clock. Hell...I'll even be happy when it turns 7:37





to "you know who"... not that it matters.

I'm sorry...I...uh...don't like you. I really don't. I mean, you're nice and you're fun and passionate about things. and you're virginal...and that's...different. But I can't love you.
It's not you it's me. How trite is that? I would love to be with you...like...you know, watch a movie together every now and then. go out for coffee. haha. or stay in for coffee. But I really can't do it. we can't do it. there isn't any way. not right now. I don't understand. but really, it's not you, it's me. I promise, and I'm sorry...but i'm not...dateable. I guess I never will be. I'll push you away. I mean, isn't that what I'm doing right now? You deserve someone else. someone who will really appreciate you. someone not so two-faced and difficult. someone's who's not such a mess. I don't think geminis do well with tauruses anyway. we'd never work.
never.
but you are a really cool guy. I like you.
lets hang out, just so long as you don't hang on. love Mary

well...I haven't updated here in a while.  Probably because I have a xanga that I've been using...school friends and such.  Anyway.  I'm updating now. 
I wish there was someone I could say everything to.  I mean every little feeling that came into even the outskirts of my mind.  Kayla's the person who comes the closest. 

But I guess that's unreasonable.  You know, I think I would be more excited about my livejournal if it looked cooler.  I think I'll work on that tonight.

 

So...a little pep was added to my step tonight as we put on the first showing of Dearly Departed...in which I am Suzanne.  The play went very well, and afterward I was permitted to go to China Star with the cast and the Ethertons.  All in all, the evening went splendidly well...and as of this moment, 11:23pm...I am a happy camper.  Off to shower and get all this makeup off me face. love love love love love

Seven things I have never done:

1. Worn groinal underwear on my head.
2.  Eaten an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting
3.  Had sex with someone while under the influence of marijuana
4.  Finished a beer.  I'm talking beer beer not like...malt beverages.
5.  Really, seriously dated someone.  like boyfriend girlfriend...unless you count middle school.
6.  Shoplifted from the Dollar Store.
7.  Gone to China.

I need to:

1. finish my summer assignment.
2. secure my position at montessouri.
3. get in touch with Luke Victor.
4. Do something with Tommy. He made me real happy last night at Tanner's. I need to talk to him. paint with him. be awesome with him.

Things that are amazingly good right now:

1.  I saw my Kayla today.  I ventured 2 hours to Danville today in a red van with the Alberts to see my best friend.  I love her so much.  And I missed her more than anything...and it's incredible that even though  I haven't seen her in five weeks... I don't feel like we've skipped a beat.  She's so amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I'm so, so, so happy she's back and I got to see her.  Wow. wowwowowowwowow!

2.  Last night was amazing.  I did not get drunk or sleep with anyone.  I was totally abstinent and celibate in all respects.  Hell, I only smoked one cigarette in a period of like six hours.  I saw Luke at Chevron earlier in the day.  So I spent the evening with him...watching Mickey Blue Eyes on his couch.  Then we took a drive around 12:30am and he bought me gas.  Sigh.  After I dropped him off at his house at 1:00...I drove off into the distance (down cranston) with the music blaring and screaming things like, "Fuckin' A!!!!!I'm SO FUCKIN' HAPPY!" at the top of my lungs.  Then I tried to sneak in Emily's window but I couldn't get it open so I just went home.

3.  I'm going to Ohio to see my FAMILY.  I miss them all so much.  And my cousin Kevin will have so much to tell me and we'll stay up all night and eat nachos and talk about sex, drugs, and rocknroll and then I'll go party with all the kids up there late into the night!  Hooray! 

EXCITEMENT. 

I'm watching a show about Brooke Hogan. I can't figure out whether or not she really is Hulk Hogan's daughter.

I am Colorblind
coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine
I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am
Colorblind
coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine


damn.

Yesterday was nice.  Em and I went to Lexington when we found out Tyler wasn't coming.  We spent most of the day figuring out what roads merged into what other roads and trying to scrounge up enough money for gas out of my piggy bank...but we did go see John at the Paris Walmart.  And I talked to Kelley on the phone but she was under house-arrest so we agreed to see each other some other time. : (  The 8th will be absolutely fabulous I'm sure. 

So the latest is that the Paris Walmart is really tiny and creepy.  We saw some of the most awesome people there.  There was this guy who looked really gay but he was wearing...like...hunting/fishing/construction attire.  We followed him around for a bit...because I felt inclined to.  He had a funny butt.

Well, Tyler just called and said he was on his lunch break and he's going to be here in 30 minutes.  Love that boy.  Later then

I scored 57¾% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

right...

a note:

I am on the worst period of my life. I bled like hell the first day. The second day there was nothing. Third day was like a major leak in the Titanic and now...nothing...nada...silence. It's like nature thinks its april fools day.

back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
but it's too late
Over you
I'm never over
over you
there's something about you
its just the way you move
the way you move me
I'm so good at forgetting
I quit every game I play
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away...

I got a 3 on my AP English Exam.

shoot me right now.

So aparently...it's over.

Which is okay because of course there's time. And I know that I shouldn't have expected anything to come out of this...I just got excited.

Tanner and I went out to eat today. Ben and I are supposed to do something later. Mimmy works from 3-10 so I have to stop into DQ in about an hour or so. My life is just so damn eventful. Well, mum is yelling. yelling yelling yelling. As though our house is too large to walk through. Must go see what she wants.

Pathetically yours,
Mary.

Oh God, Yes. I will be seen naked...and end up with...Tommy.

I'm all set now.

Um.

Today I came back from Mimmy's at around 8:30, and then went back to bed until 2. Iamsuchalazybum. Then I cleaned out the Laundry room. I didn't know it was possible. But it happened. Gave the dog a bath. Stopped by the neighbors' house-warming party (they've lived in the house for what, 20 years?--But they just painted their living room and got new floors so they invited the neighborhood over to enjoy(?)) THEN, I drove over to Tyler's and got the purse I left in the backseat of the station wagon...and I cleaned out the honda. Oh my god. That car was NASTY. With dad's skoal and my cigarette butts and Annie's (horse) riding gear, all the potting soil and the dog hair...it took 3...yes...3 vacuuming sessions to get the thing looking decent. Then i hung an airfreshener on the mirror and went to Jaime's. Where we watched QAF for an hour with Blake, Tyler and Mimmy.

This is sad.

I have been to Dairy Queen every day for the past week and a half. Since Emily's worked there, I have become a regular at the DQ. I even know everybody's name. There's Janita, Beth, Brittany, and Scott who work the registers. And there's a new guy there that I don't know so well yet. Every day I walk in and say "Is Mimmy here?" and Beth or Brittany call back "Emily, Mary's here to see you!"
A new low...
today I was there three times.
THREE TIMES AT DQ.
There has to be a cure for people like me.

Okay bad news...sort of.

Tyler talked to Scott about me tonight and he sort of ended up saying he wasn't sure what he wanted to happen with me. He said something along the lines of "She always ends up making out with her best friends and then hating them." Which isn't necissarily true. It just happened with Ben. But you know...if that's what he was worried about I wonder why he waited until now to mention it.

This doesn't mean we can't work things out though.

I am going to stay optimistic about everything until I talk to him myself. Which I am going to do tomorrow. I am going to talk to him...myself.

shudder. Confrontation scares me like a mother.

ack.

The dog took a piss in my bed.

The following was pissed on

1. My matress
2. My sheets.
3. The pillow (just one)
4. My gray shirt.
5. My NEW blanket made in India.
6. That's all I think.

Wow. I'm pissed. Pun intended.

I'm home.

I'm glad to be home.

and my room is purple.

I had a great time in Maine though. I love Kyla so much and I hope that we'll always be friends. Last night Ben and Emily and Jaime came over...Ben left at 2 and the girls spent the night.

Jaime was talking about Andy last night and it made me want to kiss his brother.

ha,

I think i will...

Well, now I'm going over to Ariel's for dinner. Her mom made good vegetarian foodstuffs. mmmm

We just had dinner at a little picnic area. Now we're off to an amusement park somwhere and then the ocean. Ah, I love this maine air. Ha. ha. later then.

I'm in Maine.

my ears are still popping from that damn flight out of atlanta. grrrr.

no cigarettes

I met a really interesting girl who's in rehab in Baton Rouge. Anyway, she was cool...we talked.

drugs, alcohol, the like...